The Rise and Fall of my Love Life

First of, let me introduce you to the characters of P and P. They’ve been together for 6 years (and counting!) They are each other’s best friends and lovers, both 18 years old. They’re what the old people call, childhood sweethearts. Both aspiring writers, media practitioners, or marketing specialists. Both live a minute away from each other, goes to the same school and are in the same circle of friends. They balance each other out but at times, they both are similar. P and P will be living happily ever after.

P and P are two of whom I consider my dear friends. I’ve been pretty vocal about being their ‘shipper’ – which I really am. I actually am so happy for the both of them and for the fact they have met their soul mate at an early age.They are just the tiny percentage of the world’s population which we consider as “the lucky ones.” How come we aren’t all like that? Why can’t we just find our special someone. Why does life have to make it so hard for us to find our life partners. (Also I’m sorry guys if you two somehow discovered this post!!!)

Unlike the lucky couple, this is my 5th attempt of finding true love. Both were cringe-y online romance,  one with the guy I almost lost my Virginity to, one with a Manila local who I probably over-analyzed all our conversations and had wanted nothing to with me, and the recent one, the one who started out as a fun buddy.

Among the five failed attempts, I got hit hard with two guys. One from the online world and one from islands away – both of which I cried. As much as I’d want to get into detail, I am stopping myself from doing so. To summarize, the online guy was a lying bastard whereas the guy islands away is a dick who sort of toyed with my feelings and is currently in a happy and probably long-term relationship with the same girl since his freshman year in college.

A dozen of heartbreak playlists and hours wasted on romcoms later,  I’m not seeing anyone, and I’m not even thinking of the need to date someone. Although I’m still talking to a guy I met online about a year ago, there’s nothing more than casual conversations about him trying to get laid or jerking off every chance he gets. (and about a year ago, I was really infatuated with him!)

This year I promised not to get way too attached to love. I made it my resolution to make my career a priority than to find a boyfriend. I feel like I don’t need to have a boyfriend in order to be happy. Although it would be really nice to find someone you just mesh so naturally with, someone who’d make you laugh, cares about you deeply, someone who thinks the world is better with you by their side, it doesn’t mean it’s over for the rest of us singletons.

I think it’s really important that we should just love ourselves truly and genuinely before we commit to someone who’d, if ordered by fate, would become our life partner in the long run.

Exes and Oh’s,

Gel.