This year will be my year. I’ve dealt with enough shit the past year, and like Michelle Pfeiffer’s character in the 2011 holiday film, New Year’s Eve, Ingrid Withers (yes, the one Zac Efron kissed!) She was able to fulfill her resolutions, but hopefully I won’t be ticking them off hours before 2017 ends.
In the movie, New Year’s Eve, Ingrid had a list that she kept with her for a long time and not doing anything about it. As much as I love Pfeiffer, I don’t want to be like her character, scared of trying new things, afraid of judgement, fearful of what the outcome of her actions are. Therefore, I had decided to do all if not most of my resolutions.
As I’ve written in my journal and made a mental note countless times to serve as a constant reminder for me, this year will be the year of redemption. This year, I will be a better person I’ve always envisioned myself as and not selfish crazy soon-to-be-21-year-old-woman who still acts like she’s in high school.
One of the resolutions I made and promised myself to do this year is to cut off on eating rice and soft drinks – which I only made 4 days into January. So far, I am doing well, not craving for rice but I do sometimes wish I could go have a proper meal at SpoonMugNet. I decided that I don’t have much time left, I am getting older after all. Eating healthy and cutting off junk might be the next best thing for me.
Another thing I wrote down as my resolutions is to be kinder. I think, I am kind and I am – to those who are kind to me. I however, do not have the most angelic face, despite my name. Whenever I walk down the hallways going to either a Marketing or Communications class, I have what most call a ‘resting-bitch-face’ or may totally look like a snob because I look straight ahead every time and block whatever I can in my peripheral vision. This year I will try to improve on that. I will try to smile more to strangers – not in a creepy way of course! I will also have to say hi to the person first and not wait for them to say hi to me first. I realized that how could I expect people to think of me as a nice person if I don’t act nice.
Recently I found out why I’m afraid of confrontation or one-on-one private talk. I remembered about a time in grade school that led up to a confrontation and I got scarred. At 8, you never really expected someone would straight up walk up to you and tell you what was wrong with you, right? That’s why this year, I would like to slowly get rid of my fear for confrontations and rejections. Although last year I think that I was slowly getting rid of my fear for rejections applying for an internship. Also, if you are very close to me, I was rejected (or that’s one way of saying that) for something and that got me down, bringing back the anxiety but hell, I got ever it and still stayed.
As much as I don’t want to talk about this, I am going to address this anyway. This year I want to be the girl who is confident with her body. I know this sounds shallow but I do want to be confident and look the way I want to look despite what people say about my clothes, body, or style. I want to the girl who’d wear camis and not worry about her huge arms. A few years back, I was sort of that girl but I seemed to get worse. I know I should care about people think but let’s face it, Filipinos are one of the most vain people in the world.
With that said, this brings to another resolution I want to fulfill and that is not to care what people think. I had attended mass today and the priest was talking about not caring about the people who put you through obstacles as you reach closer and closer to achieving your goal. He said that during our journey to pursuing our mission, it’s alright not to have people along the way and that sometimes it’s okay to be by yourself. The priest also said that it’s not that we have to be snobs and avoid people entirely. From what I understood, I think it means that we don’t always have to be nice to everyone we meet. People today just abuse other people’s kindness and it’s sickening to witness it first hand. I was touched when I heard the homily and it really got me thinking.
Other things I want to fullfill this year are the following:
- Be more appreciative to my parents
- Less social media consumption
- Try a new hobby
- Be contented
- Grow with the people who are always there for you
- Avoid rushing into a relationship
- Write more
- Improve writing skill
- Continuously update this blog
- Meet new friends
- Remove toxic people
- Know that I’m good enough.